When I miss community

I miss tight hugs from people who understand me.

I miss being surrounded by people that I feel comfortable with, people that I can truly exhale and relax around.

I miss feeling excited about getting together.

I miss the warmth that fills a room.

I even miss being with people who I don’t agree with, who challenge me.

And yet, I still feel scared to fully engage in community. I still feel exhausted, overdrawn, and spread too thin. I’m still tender. I’d rather stay snuggled on the couch, reading a book, close to my husband. It feels safer there.

But the fact that I miss it, long for it; that gives me hope. And with that hope, I’ll move forward.