I am still alive.
I have thought of this blog often. I’m trying to figure out if I should continue it, or if perhaps it’s chapter has closed. Some days it feels like it has run its course. I don’t feel quite ready to be done with it, and I certainly don’t feel done with blogging. But with the time I have found to write lately, I have devoted it to the book I’ve been poring over for the past three or so years. I hope to be able to share it soon.
I don’t feel like making a decision on the outcome of my blog quite yet, so for now I’ll just share an update on my life as of late.
Life has been full lately. Good, but full. Lots of work, with more than the occasional overtime thrown in. Although exhaustion follows, I am extremely grateful for the paycheck that follows shorty thereafter. The extra money has been helping with the goal of paying down debt and storing up our savings.
The hubby and I have had some serious discussions lately involving the future. Every year or so, we return to the topic of children. We’re approaching our sixth anniversary, and have greatly enjoyed the child free life so far. That nurturer in me rears up every now and again, so we sit down and have the kiddo talk.
The girl in me swoons at the thought of soft baby skin, gentle coos, and cute little socks. But as we discuss the rest of what babies entail, we both shudder at the thought of poopy diapers, sleepless nights, and wearing infant vomit out in public. We watch the parents of newborns and toddlers and see the zombie expressions. We hear parents lament the lost sleep on Saturday mornings. I know that part of parenting is only a season, but we wonder if it’s a season we want.
Drew used to joke, “Let’s adopt a teenager, try it out for a few years, and see if we like it.” It started out as a joke, but then the more we discussed it, the better that idea sounded.
Drew did some research, and we found out a lot about adoption we didn’t know. We found out the State of Florida often gives a small stipend for the adoption of special needs children. A special needs child can be someone with a physical, mental, or emotional handicap, African American or racially mixed, or over the age of 8.
A child over the age of 8 is considered special needs.
Older children are simply not wanted. Florida is doing all it can to encourage the adoption of these children. The more Drew and I talked, the more we felt led to the adoption of an older child. Sure, a baby sounds fun, and we’d be totally blessed by it. But the more I think about adopting one of these older children, the more my heart opens and softens. I believe we are called to this.
We’re a ways off. There are classes to take, background checks, home studies. Right now, we’re focusing energy on finding a home with a little more room. We could probably fit a third body in our current home, but it would be cramped. So we’re spending our time looking at open houses.
And I’m praying. I’m praying for that child that someday will be able to call our crazy little family unit home.