I'm late in posting today.
I remembered last night at about 11:00 p.m. Drew and I are on vacation this week, so my mind is blissfully not really here. I decided to write the post in the morning. Normally, my inclination is to get up, make my coffee, than immediately turn on my laptop and begin to work. Especially if I forgot to get the post ready the night before.
This morning, I made my coffee and headed to the front porch. I intentionally left my iPhone inside, my laptop turned off. I sat on the porch. Nothing else. I sat.
I left my glasses on my nightstand, so with bleary eyes I looked out on my front yard. I was groggy, with tendrils of dreams still grasping the corners of my brain. I watched as three birds took turns on the feeder. I stifled back laughter at the cardinal that splashed around in the birdbath and made a mental note to change the water daily for them.
For a brief second, I wished I had my phone so I could take a picture or a video of the happy bird. Then I remembered that not all moments need to be captured. Some simply need to be experienced. So I just sat, sipping my coffee and relishing in the happy, noisy birds and the quiet of my mind.
Sure, this post ended up being even later. But I really don't care. Do you know how often my mind quiets down? I'll give you a hint. Not often.
I'm becoming convicted lately of how I can't slow down. My brain is constantly going, thinking and processing through my day, coming up with possible blog posts and witty tweets, and thinking about all the chores I haven't completed. I forget how important it is to stop, slow down, and breathe.
I can't put my iPhone down without wanting to immediately pick it back up. Check Facebook or play some mindless game. My brain starts in with all the crap that's there and I just want to make it stop. Numb it. When I'm in this place, it's so hard to write, live life, worship.
I try to pray, and my mind won't cooperate. I can't focus on reading my Bible, because it's not 140 characters or less. My attention span has shortened dramatically.
My goal this week is to take some of those much needed moments of quiet. Watch the birds splash around. Take those deep breaths. Show myself that nothing bad will happen if I put the phone down and walk away.