Category: Uncategorized

This blog originally appeared in July of 2012.

Ever had one of those days where all you want to do is go home and hide under a blanket with a good strong drink? I have a lot of those days. The sad thing is that it's usually just one incident that spoils every other good aspect of the day. I have a hard time overlooking that one bad thing.

One day I came home, fuming from the grumpiness that had overtaken me. As I pulled into the driveway, I climbed out of my car and noticed a little something on my deck chairs. A butterfly. Just chilling out and fluttering it's wings quietly.

For a brief moment, I was able to put my annoyances from the day to the side. This calm little creature reminded me to do just as it was doing: calm down.

I believe that God places such things in my path to get my attention. Often, I'm so wrapped up in my seemingly deserved self-worth that I saunter right on past. The attention grabbing is usually done in very subtle ways; flowers in bloom, a cool breeze, warm sun rays on my face, a smile from a stranger, a comforting scent or sound.  I hate when I get to the point that I miss all of this.

In my favorite devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers states:

“In every wind that blows, in every night and day of the year, in every sign of the sky, in every blossoming and in every withering of the earth, there is a real coming of God to us if we will simply use our starved imagination to realize it.”

I think my imagination has been starved, because I feel as if I'm not picking up on much of this lately. Sadly, I walk right by every blossom and every withering, too self-absorbed to truly take it in and see God.

What a way to worship; noticing God in all the little things around me. I used to be good at this. A warm breeze would wash over my face and I'd close my eyes and raise my face to the heavens. Beautiful clouds in the sky made me thank God for His creativity. The sound of birds chirping brought a smile to my face.

Now I just plow right through my day, oblivious to the small signs that God places in my path everyday. I hate that. I pray that I can return to that childlike awareness and not miss those sweet, subtle signs.

Question: What was the last subtle sign God placed in your way?

What are you thankful for this month? Here’s my list.

1. The end of summer. I am thankful that summer has been mild, but I’m also glad to see it winding to a close. I just can’t take the Florida heat anymore.
2. A long weekend. Time to rest and read and write and yes, even clean house. Happy Labor Day!
3. An upcoming road trip. I’m excited to get away for a few days.
4. Texting. I have a friend going through a rough time right now, and it’s nice to be able to send a quick text her way to let her know I’m thinking of her.
5. A home recording studio. My hubby has slowly built up quite an impressive little home studio. Stay tuned for some music…
6. My very smart and supportive husband. I love that he was able to put together a studio and support me in my dream of music.
7. Thunder. I love thunderstorms, and the sound of distant thunder makes me content to be cuddled up at home.
8. Contact lenses. Now that I’m more adept at getting them in and out, I love not having to wear glasses all the time.
9. New challenges at work that keep me thinking, engaged, and on my toes.
10. Music by Derek Webb. His new album comes out tomorrow. Click here to check it out.

Hey, guess what?

I'm in a music video! I'm honored that I had the chance to have a small cameo in Derek Webb's video for his new song, I Was Wrong, I'm Sorry, and I Love You.

Stay tuned for some more stuff on Derek's new album. In the meantime, check out the creativity in this video.

This post originally appeared in October 2012. It’s something that I still need to be reminded of.

Years ago, after finishing my time on tour with the African Children’s Choir, a fellow chaperone and I went to see a pastor/counselor. She specialized in helping missionaries who were returning from the field. My friend and I were having trouble transitioning back into “real life” and really needed someone to listen.

She did listen, and she offered much advice to our tender souls. A lot of what she spoke that day is a blur, but I distinctly remember four words.

Don’t do. Just be.

She was speaking specifically about our quiet time. We shared how it felt we were just going through the motions by reading our Bible and praying. Nothing we did really seemed to work. Nothing clicked.

So she told us to stop doing. Like a little child that just wants to sit in Daddy’s lap, we just needed to relish in God’s presence. Stop trying to pray the prayer that makes us “connect.” Stop searching for the Bible verse that will make it all better. Just sit. Be.

I have a hard time with that. I’ve shared before how I have a hard time sitting still and being quiet. But the times when I really do stop doing and just be, it’s amazing the difference it makes.

I’m trying to implement that back into my quiet time again, because I’ve been trying to “do” stuff again. I’m searching again for the magic Bible verses. I get upset when I’m not “feeling” worshipful.

It’s a constant struggle, but I will strive to just be.

Question: Do you struggle with trying to be?

I have a pretty embarrassing confession. I had never heard Stairway to Heaven in it’s entirety until last week.

It’s possible I’d heard the whole thing and just don’t remember it; that sheltered, Christian me tried to block it from my memory. After all, Led Zeppelin is one of those satan bands. There’s a whole controversy about how the song played backwards says, “So here’s to my sweet Satan.” Yeah.

I must say, Led Zeppelin is not a band I’d listen to much. As talented as they are (the drummer and bassist are IN-SANE), classic rock is just not my music of choice. But just because you don’t always listen to a particular genre doesn’t mean you can’t respect it, learn from it, and even enjoy it.

Drew played this version of Stairway to Heaven last week. It’s from a concert honoring Led Zeppelin, and it brought tears to Robert Plant’s eyes. I can see why.

I love the passion, the energy, the excitement the musicians put into this song. I mean, WOW. The way it builds and builds until the music just slaps you in the face. I especially love the drummer; he looks so excited just to be there, simply ecstatic to play music. You can read a bit more of the story here.

After watching the video, Drew played the original version. And I heard where the passion and excitement from the remake came from. No wonder this song is so legendary.

I’m ashamed that I’ve missed out on these classic songs. That my sheltered, Christian existence led me to believe that passionate songs like this are evil. I now believe that God is in all things, even if they weren’t created with Him specifically in mind.

I really have no idea about the meaning of the song (my husband who’s heard it for years didn’t really know either) and honestly, I don’t even want to attempt to figure it out. I’d rather just bask in the awesomeness of the music.

(I do want to make clear that I do not think this song would be appropriate in worship. This whole secular worship series is not about songs that we need to include in our worship sets. It’s merely me, finding beauty and passion in music again. And where there’s beauty and passion, I truly believe that God is not far behind.)

What do you think about songs like this? Have you ever “over sheltered” your life? Are there other classic songs that I need to hear?

Last month I shared about the pain that Mother’s Day often brings, especially within the church. How so often churches will often ask the mothers to stand, leaving the rest of us feeling a little bit empty. (I’m happy to report that last month, my pastor asked ALL women to stand, acknowledging that we’ve all be mothers in some way. I shed a few happy tears over that.)

I wonder if there is a similar pain involved with Father’s Day. Do men that aren’t *technically* fathers dread the “Will all the fathers please stand?” moment of the service? Do they walk out feeling empty and sad that the time they’ve spent mentoring or being an uncle or babysitting “doesn’t count?”

There’s a more common theme I see within the church involving Father’s Day, and it’s different from the pain of Mother’s Day. When Mother’s Day rolls around, the church praises the moms for all their hard work. They honor them. When Father’s Day comes, it seems that many churches tell the men that they’re not trying hard enough, that they’re failing their family somehow.

A commenter said that one of his friends doesn’t go to church on Father’s Day for that basic reason. That he was tired of being told, “You men are not taking care of your kids and that’s why society is falling apart.”

This is sad. Many men that I know work so hard and sacrifice so much for their families, for their children. Who are we to tell them that they aren’t trying hard enough, that they need to do more?

I’d like to ask the men, what are your experiences with church and Father’s Day? I pray that many of you were honored and thanked for all you do, not just by your family but by your church as well.

Some big changes are beginning for me. This week, I start a new job. I'm excited, nervous, and eager to see what the future holds. While I've been transitioning out of the old job and getting ready for the new one, my brain has been all over, and my writing time and energy have been waning.

For the next month or so, I will be “down-sizing” my posts to once a week. I will post each Monday. It may be original content from my overworked brain, or it may be articles I find interesting that I want to share. It may be old blog posts that I re-share because I just have no energy to post anything new.

I'm continuing to process through some things regarding worship and Christianity, and I hope to continue to share those thoughts. I appreciate those of you who have stuck with me and continue to read. You all are awesome.

I'm trying to see all of my life as a way to worship. As a musician, I still long to use music as a way to worship God. But I want it to be more than when I might be on stage.

I picked up my guitar this week and began to practice again, something I haven't done enough of lately. I did some finger and picking exercises, practiced some chord changes, and even played a couple scales. These are all the things I hate doing and would rather skip. But it's all part of the process.

I think God finds that part pleasing. Sure, it's not always pretty or melodical or even that skilled. My fingers slip off the frets and cramp up. My strings are sometimes muted and I often let out a grunt of frustration. But I am working to make my music, my instrument, more skillful. I am working to be the best I can be. I believe God loves that.

Like a parent who will sit and happily listen to Mary Had a Little Lamb for the 217th time, all because their child is making progress, I believe God likes to hear my scales and chord changes.

Last week I was on vacation, and sadly, this was not my view.

For the past two years, Drew and I have spent a week in north Georgia, in a beautiful, secluded mountaintop cabin. I spent all week lounging on the huge back porch, staring out at this view.

The cabin went up for sale, and the new owners must not be renting the cabin. Our beautiful mountain getaway was no longer available.

We could have found another cabin. There's hundreds of them up there. Instead, we decided to be cheap, and stay home. We have tons of home projects that never seem to get done, so we did the staycation.

It was a great week. It was nice not to have to be anywhere or get up at a certain time. But I confess, I longed for my mountain view. I waited all year to relax on that balcony.

I made the most of it, enjoying the front porch in my quiet neighborhood, watching the birds. And it was great. I realized that I don't need to wait for a special location to stop, take a deep breath, and refresh. There is beauty everywhere, even in my humble front yard.

In the same way, I don't need to wait until Sunday morning to worship. I shouldn't. I need to carve out time throughout the week, finding those quiet little moments that will refresh my soul and bring me closer to God. I confess that I'm not very good at that. Come Sunday, I expect to be magically filled and get offended when I'm not.

My goal is to find time and places in my everyday life to tell God how much I love Him.