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My Utmost for His Highest = My kick in the pants

This is my 1970s version of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.

In case you can’t get the full effect from the picture, that is a metallic silver cover with gold, embossed lettering. It is classy.

I found this in the summer of ’98, when I attended Creation Festival (a huge Christian music festival) in Pennsylvania. That summer marked the real beginning of my faith walk, when I decided I was going to be serious about this God thing. While browsing through one of the makeshift stores under a tent, I ran across a book table. I unearthed this copy of My Utmost for His Highest. I had heard great things about the book, so I bought it. I think I paid $4 for it.

After a couple years I began to read it daily. Once I started, I was hooked. This book has fed me more than any other book or devotional outside the Bible. I tried a different devotion one year, but it just wouldn’t cut it. I always seem to come back to good ol’ Oswald. After years of reading it, something new still hits me.

Here’s what’s hitting me this year.

It convicts me waaaay too much.

I’ve gotten out of the daily habit of reading it. I have lots of excuses. But the real reason?

It makes me uncomfortable. It reminds me of the Christian I so want to be and am so far away from being.

It still inspires me, but I hate that uncomfortable feeling when a phrase hits me straight to the gut. I try to read around it, ignore it, say that it really relates to someone else. But when it comes down to it, that convicting phrase is all about me and the ways that I am failing.

So I avoid reading it. It’s easier to stay in denial than to face the truth head on.

This year, my husband and I are making the effort to read the devotional together every day. And those hard to read phrases are hitting me hard. But I vow to keep reading and to do the best I can to work on those things that I need to work on.

Part of this whole faith thing is coming face to face with the not so pretty parts of me.

Have you ever had a book, devotional, or Scripture that painfully spoke to you?

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My starved imagination

Ever had one of those days where all you want to do is go home and hide under a blanket with a good strong drink? I have a lot of those days. The sad thing is that it’s usually just one incident that spoils every other good aspect of the day. I have a hard time overlooking that one bad thing.

One day I came home, fuming from the grumpiness that had overtaken me. As I pulled into the driveway, I climbed out of my car and noticed a little something on my deck chairs. A butterfly. Just chilling out and fluttering it’s wings quietly.

For a brief moment, I was able to put my annoyances from the day to the side. This calm little creature reminded me to do just as it was doing: calm down.

I believe that God places such things in my path to get my attention. Often, I’m so wrapped up in my seemingly deserved self-worth that I saunter right on past. The attention grabbing is usually done in very subtle ways; flowers in bloom, a cool breeze, warm sun rays on my face, a smile from a stranger, a comforting scent or sound.  I hate when I get to the point that I miss all of this.

In my favorite devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers states:

“In every wind that blows, in every night and day of the year, in every sign of the sky, in every blossoming and in every withering of the earth, there is a real coming of God to us if we will simply use our starved imagination to realize it.”

I think my imagination has been starved, because I feel as if I’m not picking up on much of this lately. Sadly, I walk right by every blossom and every withering, too self-absorbed to truly take it in and see God.

What a way to worship; noticing God in all the little things around me. I used to be good at this. A warm breeze would wash over my face and I’d close my eyes and raise my face to the heavens. Beautiful clouds in the sky made me thank God for His creativity. The sound of birds chirping brought a smile to my face.

Now I just plow right through my day, oblivious to the small signs that God places in my path everyday. I hate that. I pray that I can return to that childlike awareness and not miss those sweet, subtle signs.

Question: What was the last subtle sign God placed in your way?

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What the heck IS worship?

As I continue to write about worship, I keep coming back to one question.

What IS worship?

I’ve googled it a couple times and looked up some verses about it.

I found a general definition.

(noun) The feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity: “ancestor worship”.

(verb) Show reverence and adoration for (a deity); honor with religious rites.

One of the top google hits had this to say.

 The English word “worship” comes from two Old English words: weorth, which means “worth,” and scipe or ship, which means something like shape or “quality.” We can see the Old English word -ship in modern words like friendship and sportsmanship – that’s the quality of being a friend, or the quality of being a good sport.

So worth-ship is the quality of having worth or of being worthy. When we worship, we are saying that God has worth, that he is worthy. Worship means to declare worth, to attribute worth. Or to put it in biblical terms, we praise God. We speak, or sing, about how good and powerful God is.

I found Scriptures about worship.

O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before our Lord our maker.

Psalm 95:6

 

God is spirit, and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth.

John 4:24

This all still leaves me puzzled. Technically it answers my question but I’m still not happy with the answer.

My absolute favorite devotion is My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  It’s the devotional I always return to and it usually kicks me right in the butt. I found that he had this to say.

Worship is giving God the best that He has given you.

I don’t know that I’ve heard it put any better way. Nor could I sum it up any better.

God has given me much, and He expects much in return. The gifts He has given me, I am expected to turn around and give them right back. For me personally, this involves

  • Music
  • Love
  • Grace
  • Compassion

What’s the best God has given you?