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Gratitude List for February

Here’s what I’m thankful for this month:

  1. A great birthday. I felt loved and spoiled by all.
  2. One last taste of winter. I know many people are more than ready for Spring, but I’m not quite done with scarves, sweaters, and cuddling under warm blankets.
  3. Funerals. As sad as they are, I’m thankful for the closure they offer and the love and support that’s present in the room.
  4. My amazing husband who believes in me and my dreams. He’s always supportive.
  5. Nutella. Yum.
  6. Freedom to write my feelings, fears, and frustrations.
  7. Progress on my book. Although small steps, those steps get me closer to completion.
  8. Jamming with fellow musicians and sharing original songs.
  9. A washer and dryer. I’m always thankful that I don’t have to wash clothes by hand.
  10. Laughter. I’m often too melodramatic and forget how healing laughter can be.

What are you thankful for this month?

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I’m too angry to worship

How do you worship through tough emotions? Sometimes I find that I worship better and even harder through tough times. But sometimes things like anger, confusion, and hurt get in the way.

As I sat through a tough memorial service last week, we sang a couple praise songs. I found it hard to sing along through the snot that was dripping from my nose and tears that wouldn’t stop. Beyond that, I was angry that God had taken a friend far too soon. I was also hurting. I felt numb from grief and just didn’t feel like praising God, to be honest.

Have you ever experienced a time like that? How do you handle it? For me, I’ve found the only thing I can do is offer it up to God. He’s big enough to handle my anger and tender enough to understand that I’m hurting. I just lay it out there.

And I felt a bit of His peace. It was itty bitty, but it cut through the anger and the hurt just the same.

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When worship is physically painful

This tweet recently showed up in my feed:

Old lady at church: “It’s too loud.” Me: “Try moving to a seat that’s farther from the speakers. In another church, perhaps.” #InMyMind

I realize this is supposed to be tongue in cheek, and I’ll admit, I chuckled. But it still makes me sad.

When complaints are made about the noise level of worship, it’s laughed about behind the complainers back (usually an “old” person) and then filed in the circular file. And we move on, doing absolutely nothing.

I work with the elderly. I get it. Some will find anything to complain about. Others are impossible to keep happy. (Although I’m convinced that in any group of people, you will find complainers.) I also know that not all old people hate loud music. Have you heard live big band music from the 40s?

I’m beginning to relate to the noise level complaints, especially after I had minor surgery last year. In an attempt to ease the constant feeling of pressure in my ear, I had a tube put in. It didn’t help and now I’m just waiting for it to fall out.

In the meantime, I have bionic hearing. It’s like there’s a megaphone in my left ear. This dumb tube has left me super sensitive to noise. The volume at most worship services has become unbearable. Contemporary worship is physically painful for me.

I feel for the poor old lady that speaks up about the volume. She may have a very valid complaint, but it’s simply dismissed.

If there is an old lady in your contemporary service, that’s quite impressive. The sheer fact that she’s not swearing the music off as “devil music” is quite a feat! Can we work to make the situation a little more enjoyable for her?

Just a thought.

Question: What are your thoughts on the noise level in worship?

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In memory

This week life dealt a hard blow. My friend, Daniel, passed away this weekend.

Daniel was a member of my family of choice; the group of people that my husband and I get together with on a regular basis. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a sweeter, more gentler man than Daniel. It was rare to see him without a smile on his face, and his big, infectious belly laugh was more than enough to get the whole room laughing. He was often the first one to laugh at my husband’s inappropriate jokes, and would throw a hand over his mouth to try to hide the fact that he was laughing. He laughed with his entire body though, so we always knew.

Daniel loved church and worship and the community there. I know he looked forward to Sunday mornings with anticipation and served in as many ways as he could. He was always there to greet people with a big smile, and had a way of encouraging people. He was often seen taking a head count in the services, and my family of choice has joked that he’s probably taking a head count in heaven.

Daniel and I had a common bond over good coffee. He got hooked on Starbucks and we laughed together over our coffee snobbery. I gave him a coffee grinder, and he joked that there was no turning back after fresh ground coffee. He always came to me with questions, since I worked as a barista for a couple years. I was honored to be his coffee expert.

It sucks that he was taken so soon. I’m sad, mad, tired, frustrated, and my nose is tender from blowing so much. But I feel honored that I knew him. I rest in the knowledge that he is with Jesus, laughing his big belly laugh with Him. And he’s drinking way better coffee than me.

Daniel, you are greatly missed.

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Secular worship: Galaxies

I’d like to share another song for my “Secular Worship Series.” This song was brought up by a commenter. I gave it a listen and found it interesting.

Galaxies by Owl City

Call back the cap-com,
Tick off the time-bomb,
Let felicity fly!
Armour the airlock,
Blanket the bedrock,
And kiss the planet goodbye!

Dear God, I was terribly lost,
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark.
Dear God, You’re the only North Star,
I would follow this far.

Fight back the flight deck,
Bring on the breakneck,
Cue the solar eclipse!
Summit the sunset,
Dubtail the dragnet,
And blow your backbone to bits!

Dear God, I was terribly lost,
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark.
Dear God, You’re the only North Star,
I would follow this far.

Oh telescope, keep an eye on my only hope,
Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road.
Hercules, you’ve got nothing to say to me,
‘Cause you’re not the blinding light that I need.

For He is the saving grace of the Galaxies!
He is the saving grace of the Galaxies

Dear God, I was terribly lost,
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark.
(Went dark)
Dear God, You’re the only North Star,
I would follow this far.

I would follow this far.
(Galaxies, galaxies, through the galaxies, through the galaxies)

On my first listen, I haven’t a clue what this song is trying to say. It has a catchy beat but incredibly cryptic lyrics. But I appreciate songs that make me dig for the meaning.

The chorus is pretty simple to understand. The writer was lost and found hope through God. It’s the verses that leave me scratching my head. I read the Wikipedia article, and it says the song was written about the Challenger disaster. It is meant to depict what the crew members might have been thinking in the last moments of their life.

I doubt I would ever play this song in a worship service. I think it would leave too many people confused. But it’s a great song for personal listening and “pondering.”

What do you think? What song would you contribute for a secular worship song?

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You’re giving up what?

I’ve recently become obsessed with Words with Friends. I play with a couple coworkers, and one is really good. He has about eight to ten games going at one time and he usually wins. He and I sit in our break room at lunch, intently staring at our phones, often playing each other. (Yes, the irony in this situation is not lost on me.)

One of several games I lost

Last week, he looked up from his phone and said:

I really need to apply this level of commitment to something else.

This then led into a conversation about Lent. He knew what he needed to give up, but wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to do it. All those players were depending on him!

I like the idea of giving up things for Lent. Surrendering something important (to us) as a small reminder of the powerful thing Jesus did for us. I wanted to give something up this year, but I had a hard time deciding what. I tend to come up with things that are too easy. I need something that will challenge me.

A friend once said that Lent wasn’t always about what you give up, but about beginning a better habit. I think that’s the direction I’m leaning this year. And that better habit needs to be spiritual in nature. For over a year, I’ve been struggling to get my quiet time back in order. I read my Bible, but it’s often just words on a page. I pray, but it’s often nothing more than, “Um… help me, God. Thanks.”

My church is offering a Lenten devotion along with communion each Wednesday. I need to go. I’m making the commitment to go each Wednesday, reflect on the elements, confess my sins, and open my ears and my heart to God. And in addition, I will keep reading my Bible until those words become alive again.

So, really, I am giving up something: the complacent lifestyle I’ve grown way too comfortable in. I am more than ready to be done with that.

Question: Are you giving up something for Lent this year? Or starting a better habit?

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Behind the Scenes Worship: Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself

James Barnett is one of those people of which I am proud to say, “I know him!”

And yet, as much as I love this guy, I hate reading his tweets. I hate them because they convict me. James is the kind of Christian that is really living this Christian life; not just talking about it.

I ran into James one day a few years back as my husband and I took a walk at a local park. He was sitting on a picnic bench, staring into space with a journal on his lap. We chatted briefly, and I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed troubled. Later I found out why.

James grew up in a Christian home, went to church and followed all the rules. He went to college and landed a job with an almost six-figure salary. Although a faithful Christian with some great things happening in his life, something was missing.

During a mission trip to Nicaragua, his life was forever changed. There, in the middle of a dump, he met a prophetess named Mrs. Ruby. She lived among the people at the dump, praying over them.

Kneeling before her, she poured oil on his head and spoke in tongues. Then she spoke these words:

Child, the Lord wants you to know you haven’t been obedient.

He was a bit upset at this, as he’d been a good Christian all his life. How had he not been obedient?

She responded:

My child, your obedience isn’t defined by what you don’t do, but by what you do for the world your God so loved.

These words stuck with James, and he made a radical decision that still amazes me. He quit his job, sold all his possessions and began to live on the street with the homeless. Living out of a van, he did his best to serve the displaced and downtrodden that crossed his path every day.

He gave out clothing, but soon ran out. As a graphic design major, he designed a t-shirt that simply said: Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself. He began to sell them, giving all the profits back to the homeless. That simple t-shirt design has grown into an official non-profit and the word is spreading. I even saw one in Nashville, walking into a Cracker Barrel!

After his time on the streets, James worked as a youth pastor. But he has once again been called to live on the streets. This week, he will move to Atlanta and minister to the homeless while he continues to run Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself. He tells of his decision to return to the streets here.

James’s willingness to step out on faith inspires me greatly. I am amazed at his bravery, his love and his heart. He is the sort of Christian that I aspire to be. I just don’t know if I have the guts to live out my faith the way he does.

Check out the t-shirts and apparel at Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself. Also be sure to read James’s blog, or follow him on Twitter. I also recommend booking James to speak at your church or organization. He will definitely convict and challenge you.

Do you know someone who is worshiping behind the scenes? Leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail via the contact page. I’d love to share their story.

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Gratitude List

Here’s what I’m thankful for this month.

  1. A chance to sing again. I’ve so loved the chance to sing with a choir again.
  2. Cold nights that leave you no choice but to cuddle up at home.
  3. Fun coworkers.
  4. My hubby creating a home studio for us to record some original songs.
  5. Playing through some of my original songs when I felt down and feeling lifted up by them.
  6. Four or five part harmony.
  7. Pumpkin spice coffee (and tea) in the off season.
  8. Chances to connect with hundreds of people online.
  9. Friends that will give honest and helpful feedback about my writing.
  10. Not getting sick in spite of colds and the flu running rampant around me. (I’m knocking on wood right now.)

What are you thankful for this month?