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Latte foam and road trips: a gratitude list

It helps my overburdened mind to slow down and remember how blessed I am, and how much I have to be thankful for.
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  1. Cooler weather beginning to settle in. Although the summer heat isn't giving up it's reign without a fight, I'm so thankful that fall is on its way.
  2. A reunion with my best friend. I can't tell you how much I've missed this girl. 
  3. Road trips. I love to hit the open road and explore new places.
  4. Latte art. I love people who can make a canvas out of hot milk. 
  5. The chance to meet my favorite singer/songwriter, Derek Webb. Not only was he super nice, but he recognized me from his music video and the footage I sent in for it.
  6. Chances to be bold and share the music I've been working on.
  7. Attending the Start Conference and being able to meet some online friends face to face. It was so neat to have real conversations with them.
  8. My husband, who has picked up the slack in most of our household cooking lately. He never complains, and always does it with a smile.
  9. Hosting the African Children's Choir at my church and having a packed house. Seeing and hearing the kids reminded me of my kids and brought back so many good memories. 
  10. Talking with one of the chaperones with the African Children's Choir and hearing how well my “kids” are doing back home. They're not kids anymore, as they're all in secondary school. I heard good reports, and I beamed with pride.

What is on your gratitude list this month? I'd love to hear.

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Derek Webb: I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry, and I Love You

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you’ve learned two things:

  1. I’m a huge Derek Webb fan.
  2. I have some huge resentments against the church.

I like Derek Webb for several reasons. The simple reason is that I like his music. Beyond that, I respect him for his willingness to speak things that aren’t popular, especially in the church. He’s spoken up about politics, called out Christians who hate on homosexuals, and talked about how stupid a concept “Christian” music is. I’m usually cheering him on for his bravery, and wishing I could be so bold.

He also calls himself out. Many of his songs speak of his personal struggles, and he’s stated that he often writes songs for no one else but himself. His latest album, I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry, and I Love You, speaks of his struggle with his hard heart and cynicism. I relate to that.

This new album is a follow up to his first solo album, She Must and Shall Go Free, one of my favorite albums ever. That album focused on the relationship of Jesus and the church, and this new album dives in even deeper.

When I listened to it for the first time, I sat down with the lyrics so I could fully digest it. I forgot how deep Derek’s lyrics run, so fully digesting it didn’t happen after the first listen. I have to dig deep and really think. Layers reveal themselves the more I listen. I love albums like that.

I’m still figuring out most of the songs. Some are absolutely perplexing me. Others speak straight to my hurt, and very stubborn, heart.

I’m slowly coming to grips with my resentments against church, all while closing up my heart to the community that is the Church. I know I need that community, but it’s just so much easier to walk away and ignore the hurt.

This album is helping me release the grip on those resentments.

When I listened to Everything Will Change, I cried.

you place your vote

misplace your hope on men

who let you down

with loaded words and broken promises

it’s hard to trust in anyone

it’s easier to just fold up your arms

I cried because I’ve been in this place for far too long. Because I’m tired of being here.

But I know I’m not alone, and can move forward with hope. I’m thankful for albums like this, that speak deep truth with brutal honesty, passion, and love. I’ll continue to listen and challenge my brain and my heart.

I’m glad I can still find music that touches my soul. Music that convicts and comforts, confounds and clarifies. And although I have a long way to go in completely letting go of my resentments, I still hold onto the power of the cross.

and, though my heart is dark i am still compelled

to where your body broke,

to where your blood was spilled

– A Place at Your Table

 

You can pre-order I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry, and I Love You now. The album comes out in September, and each week leading up to the release, Derek will be releasing an acoustic video of a song off the album. 

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She Must and Shall Go Free

Some albums never get old, no matter how many times you listen. Derek Webb’s She Must and Shall Go Free is one of those albums for me. It is one of my favorite albums of all time. Seriously.

This year marks the 10th anniversary of the album, and to celebrate, Derek Webb is giving it away. You can pick it up for FREE.

These songs ask some really good questions about the church and the Christian life. The album isn’t all wrapped up and pretty. It’s raw, gut-wrenchingly honest and even a tad vulgar at times. That’s right, there are a couple of “naughty” words. No F-bombs, but those with small children might want to be warned.

I love how Derek Webb asks some really tough questions of the church. Are we really living as we should be or are we just parading our Christianity around because it looks pretty? His songwriting continues to convict me.

Seriously, download the album.