I don’t have an answer

Along with this blog, I want to write a book about my worship struggle. If I get it out of my mind, into some organized form, all the pieces will fall into place. My heart will feel at ease. I’ll be able to offer answers to those who are struggling.

With these thoughts, I’ve been in hyperdrive the last few weeks, trying to get this project finished. The faster I get done, the faster I can get over this difficult hurdle and get back into glorious, happy worship.

It’s been hard. This is a really tender subject. It’s hard to write about your greatest struggle. I have felt stuck.

Writing this book isn’t going to be a magic fix. It helps put some of those tricky pieces into place, but it’s not going to make it all better.

This is a continual struggle. I will never have all the answers.

I don’t write to make it all better. I write to share my struggles that they may speak to someone who is in the same place, and bring peace that they’re not alone.

I’m not going through this struggle just to get through it, but to become a better person.

To those who are hoping to find answers here, I can’t offer that.

If you’d like to struggle along with me, stick around.

9 Replies to “I don’t have an answer”

  1. Hey I am using a different way to leave a message. But its the same me!! LOL

    Jamie; I think it is through the struggles of life that the best friendships are formed. Thanks so much for sharing and letting all of us be part of it.

  2. If you could sum up what exactly the “struggle” is, what would you say? From reading your blog, I would guess that it’s “What is ‘worship’ and how is it supposed to work, what is the role of a worship leader and the role of the congregation, how do we ‘worship’ on our own vs in a group” questions like that. Did I miss anything? These are really good questions to ask/discuss- I enjoy reading your blog!

    1. Thanks for summing it up for me. 🙂 I like your questions. Those are definitely part of it.

      The big struggle for me personally is that musical worship used to be really special for me. I could always connect on a personal level with all worship songs. Now it feels really contrived and showy. I’m trying to figure out what happened, and why. Along the way though, I’ve uncovered a lot of questions like what you posed above.

      1. Oooh okay, that makes sense. So, it used to be really profound and special, but after a while you’ve heard everything before and it all sounds the same. I wonder if a lot of people who grew up in the church feel like that.

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