I might have a serious problem.
Some days I am just looking for something I don’t like in worship. I walk into the service, just waiting for that little thing to present itself. I set my expectations (too high) and am quickly let down. So I just shut off, throw my hands up in frustration and think (all too dramatically), “Well, let down once again…”
I realized this the other week when I got hung up on a “typo” on the powerpoint.
The lyrics said “Alleluia.” The worship leader sang “Hallelujah.”
I could feel myself shutting down to worship, and then a little voice inside me screamed, “REALLY?????”
Part of this is what I call the musician’s curse, where my finely educated musical brain (riiiiight…) picks up on such trivial things. Like my number one singing pet peeve (it’s “without YOU,” not “without CHEW.” Enunciate people!!!), sometimes it’s impossible to ignore. But I’ve realized it’s one thing to notice it; it’s another thing to obsess over it.
I can just about guarantee that I am the ONLY one who picked up on that “typo” that morning. Because it was ridiculous and didn’t make a difference. Honestly, the words mean the same. I even googled it.
So what is my issue? Why do I continue to nitpick little things in worship?
I think it’s my too high expectations. I’m trying to enter each church service without judgement. This takes a LOT of effort on my part. Some days I don’t even know how to go about it.
But I suppose admitting I have a problem is the first step.
Question: Is there something silly you’ve nitpicked in worship?
I can’t stand when line breaks are in awkward places. You think you’re going to sing the whole phrase that on the line but then the worship leader stops midway through. How about a comma so I can stop with you? Or when there is a comma and two words from the next phrase on the line instead of just making a new line? Ugh!
Absolutely! My college days were fraught with church critique and snobbery! My husband is a Pastor and I was just a church snob and now we both need constant reminders that churches are flawed places that are still loved by God and full of people he loves, so I try to take of my pessimistic nit picky pants before we go in.
“Take off my pessimistic nit picky pants.” I love that. I think I’ll use that visual on myself.
My husband and I just went to two different conferences, at two different places with probably four different worship teams, all in the last three weeks. There were definitely things that would get the critic in me riled up, (From spelling/typo errors to the way someone else was worshipping). I had to close my eyes or simply watch the screen with the power point displayed and repent for the judgmental attitude, humble myself and get my thoughts back on the main goal of worship- loving on my Jesus!
So glad I’m not alone in this struggle. 🙂 Sometimes I have to close my eyes too and just ignore all the “mistakes.”